Because this post is as monumental as Freud's seminal work of the same title. Duh.
Gluten is invading my dreams. I have had a few nightmares where I've woken up panicky since going gluten free ABOUT going gluten free. Literally waking up in a cold sweat that I ingested some wheat. Last night it was pretzels.
Scene: The living room. Our author and boyfriend are in their usual position. Feet up on the ottoman, huddled together, giggling and making sarcastic comments about whatever is on the tee vee. The room is brighter than it ever is in actuality thanks to ridiculous NYC apartment layouts that the author dares ne'er bitch about due to her apartment being very under market (yet still insanely priced) for her posh zipcode.
In this particular dream, I was cuddled up, watching football with Frank (and we were wearing matching navy blue velour sweatsuits, thank you subconscious) munching mindlessly and happily on some cheesy pretzels.
All of a sudden, I realize that I'm eating pretzels. I run to the kitchen to read the bag and see that it says WHEATY PRETZELS on the front and still scan for the allergen warning as if it won't confirm what I already know. I start spitting out what's left in my mouth and crumbs come pouring out, seemingly from deep in my gut. I start to panic and choke on the crumbs but they stop with no warning as Frank runs toward me. We hug.
Psychoanalysis in the comments? Heh.